the theory of elevation

I know what you’re thinking. Elevation isn’t a theory, it just is. Right? RIGHT? Wrong. Actually, very wrong. Why you ask? Allow me to explain.

Back when Sir Isaac Netwon was a twinkle in his mother’s eye, something magical happened.  When papa Brock was pumping kin in his wifey, his back broke under the weight of the situation (I mean, c’mon — this motherfucker was about to motherfucking create life* that would go on to discover — nay, INVENT — gravity!)  So he had this fucking epiphany, kaleidoscope, FIREWORKS IN HIS GODDAMN brain of an idea — why not ELEVATE this bitch on TOP while his back is cradled like a babe o the straw-stuffed shithole of a mattress they were bumping uglies on.  And – VOILA!  his wife (Drake Newton), while on top, got knocked up with the most famous Isaac you will ever know!

*(papa Brock was pro-life)