your child is like my boner

1. my boner is hard. raising a child is hard.
2. boner means mistake. your child was a mistake.
3. my boner often shows up when i don’t want it to. your child often shows up when you don’t want it to.
4. no one wants to see or hear my boner. no one wants to see or hear your child.
5. your child wants attention all day, every day. my boner wants attention all day, every day.
6. you find it annoying when my boner pokes you at night. you find it annoying when your child pokes you at night.
7. my boner is often sticky. your child is always sticky.
8. you can never play with your children enough. i can never play with my boner enough
9. your child has often been described as thick-headed. my boner…never mind i guess there are just eight.

A History Lesson: Ulysses S. Grant

Ulysses S. Grant

For thirty three years, Ulysses S. Grant was unable to get an erection. Yes, that’s right. The 18th President of the United States, decorated war hero couldn’t pop a chub to save his life.

Now you may be thinking, which thirty three years are these? His first? His last? Which seems more likely? Sure the first 13 years or so it can’t be that surprising. But the next twenty? Was he just a late bloomer? I’ve heard of late blooming but damn, c’mon now.

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the next big name in literature. fo real folks!

all of you people who matter and people who dont matter should check out the writing blog of our good friend austen!

he is working on a few projects currently but mainly a pretty sweet horror zombie survival book which I, Will, have had the pleasure of a sneak peek and I’ll be honest,  it’s pretty fuckin cool and im so pumped to read it when its done.

wish all the best to austen and getting his book finished. he’s so close, so stop by his site and show him some support!