Why are the Olympics always during leap year? A history lesson.

This is the question that I get asked more than anything. Constantly people are coming up to me on the street, emailing me, or tweeting at me. Will, please, for the love of god, tell me; why are the Olympics always during leap year? I’m just going to post the answer right here, right now for the world to see so that I can finally spend some time with my children, rather than out on the streets and on the computers answering this simple history lesson.

Before we dive in, first let’s cover the question itself. Why are they ALWAYS during a leap year. Are they even always during one? This part is simple. Yes they are and also no they aren’t. Leap years occur every four years, as do the Olympics. However, the summer Olympics are the only events that occur the same year as the leap year. The winter Olympics occur two years before and after a summer Olympics.

So why the difference? Great question. This is where we will jump back to the history of the Olympics and just explain it all from there.

The Olympics first started in Athens, Greece around 700 B.C. The first Olympics only consisted of three events. Long jump, High Jump, and 110m hurdles. Three events. All involving jumping, or as it was more commonly called in ancient Greece, leaping. Hence the first Olympic events became known as on the streets as ‘Leap Day’.

The original games were held on the first day of march since it marked the first day of spring and were held every year, not every four as they are now. The games were a huge success, too big in fact. The entirety of Athens came out to watch their athletes compete. This led to no production, no farming, no school. Everything was put on hold. The Olympic committee thus decided that the in order to make up for the lost production from the games, they would simply give the games their own day, and created a February 29th to account for the lost day.

Competitors from Athens became known as athletes. And after the first year, warriors came from surrounding cities to become athletes and display their abilities. Athens welcomed the competition from other cities and soon, the Olympic committee decided that instead of individuals competing for themselves, it may be more fun and interesting to have cities compete against each other for the pride of their city. As word of mouth spread and popularity of the games grew, it was quickly realized that events every year were simply not practical anymore. Athletes were traveling from not only Greece, but other countries and it often took weeks or months for them to arrive. So a quick vote decided to hold the games every four years, allowing countries plenty of time to not only prepare their athletes, but also travel to Athens.

The twentieth games were the first to hold more than the original three events. This year they added many more track events that didn’t involve jumping, as well as swimming. More and more events were added throughout the following years, thus demanding the games be elongated from only one day to a full week of games, still starting on February 29th.

Eventually, it was decided that the games should travel to other countries to increase popularity, give other fans a chance to watch, and also out of fairness to the athletes who had to travel farther than others. Due to different climates of different countries during this time of year, the events were pushed back into the summer, to ensure that the weather would always allow for the games to take place.

The Olympics ended in around 300 B.C. until 1896. When the games were brought back, they included the winter games, which only split from the summer games in 1992 in hopes that having the games every two years apart from each other, would satiate the fan’s love of the events.

So although we do not celebrate the games on Leap Day any longer, we still observe Leap Day. Why? Well that’s just what we humans do. Keep traditions alive whether it makes sense to or not.

drake meets ronaldo

so we here at the only people who matter were soooo inspired by the recent trend in superhero movies like batman vs superman, and captain america civil war, that we decided to write our own tale of two super heroes meeting. so of course, we picked the two superest heroes of them all. canadian singer drake, and soccer superstar, ronaldo.

ladies and gentlemen, here is… drake meets ronaldo

(you have to click that link to read it. it’s not a virus we promise.)


a simple man part one

brad brentley was a simple man to be sure. he wore simple clothes and lived in a simple house. he had a simple job that paid him simply enough to live on, without much to spend frivolously. and he liked it this way.

brad brentley was never the popular kid in school. he was rarely the best looking guy in the room. brad was a mediocre athlete, and only moderately intelligent. he had no enemies, but no friends either. brad was a loner. and he liked it this way.

but brad brentley had a secret.

leo dicaprio’s new mouth

with the Oscars quickly approaching, everyone is wondering. WILL LEO FINALLY WIN? everyone has heard the tales of the crazy stuff he has done for his new, simply amazing film, the revenant. from battling bears to harsh weather conditions, leo showed that he has the grit and the determination to do whatever it takes to finally win that golden statue.

but was it enough? I mean, we’ve seen survival stories before. 127 hours, into the wild. we’ve seen actors put themselves through hell. so again I ask. was it enough? well, leo decided he wasn’t going to take any chances and did something that no one else has ever done.

Leonardo DiCaprio grew a mouth in his forehead.

leo mouth head

let’s really take a moment to think about this as we take a closer look. if this does not win the man an Oscar, I really don’t think anything can. of course, questions linger, can he talk out of it? or eat? is it a completely viable mouth or is it purely cosmetic? only time can tell i’m afraid. but I for one, am hoping that the second mouth delivers the long-awaited acceptance speech. best of luck leo.

leo mouth 2.png

so close

austen and will have been hard at work to bring you all something new and different from the only people who matter. a dramatic short film written by austen! yes that’s right. not the usual childish humor but a for real drama! we just finished up shooting today and will be hard at work editing it. stay tuned for updates!

what your sleep position says about you

you know, the average human spends a third of their life in bed. we’re talking 8 sixties per day. that’s fifty-six hours a week. that’s probably like a few thousand hours a year. and even more than that for a lifetime. not to mention, in your later years you are probably spending those hours with someone you don’t want to be with because we all would rather be sleeping alone. one of the reasons people prefer sleeping alone is that their partners sleeping position might conflict with their own. so, what does your sleeping position say about you?


studies show that 63% of folks sleep on their side. interestingly enough, 63% of that 63% are women. now, we aren’t being sexist but, come on, aren’t they really just asking to be boned? it’s easier to rape a girl than a guy because guy’s have a hard time getting an erection while asleep. sideys tend to be very open and honest people but have a tendency to keep things to themselves and bottle up their emotions. leading scientists feel like this is a direct result of the asymmetrical brain tissue regeneration afforded to side sleepers; those who sleep on their right side tend to have stronger left-brain tendencies because the left brain is top and no one’s on top of it; the opposite holds true for left-side sleepers.


the most logical position yet less than 10 people sleep this way per minute. the only drawback to this position is simply that you are more prone to snoring due to closure of the epiglottis and trachea, though the sleepers themselves are usually unaware of this problem until they are informed as such by another individual, probably sleeping in another shittier position. sorry I run hot and I don’t want to snuggle.


you know who you are. how do you not suffocate? I mean seriously. I almost want to do it myself. the neck pains, hernias and gonorrhea can all be attributed to this bizarre sleep position. try counting the stars while you’re (eye) balls deep in your pillow. now concentrate…and die.


these people can sleep through any filth and grime. highly adaptable and very well mannered. they also don’t seem to care if you try to wake them from their slumber. sure, it was perfectly acceptable to sleep in your own shit when you were a baby, but these dirty dirtbags are what’s wrong with society. seeing an individual sleep so comfortably in such awkward positions really tightens my tuna. you must have grown up on a chicken farm because you really know how to raise cock.


just don’t.


don’t these people sleep with their eyes open? they are usually sleeping in a chair with their eyes open. according to Smith & Colleagues (1999), Tonga is a country. this is your typical war vet grandpa who simply refuses to die.


maybe you’re a cheap-ass who won’t spring for a/c; maybe you live in a tropical climate with enough humidity to give Gene Keady an afro; either way you need to air out those stanky sperm sacks on the reg.

d&d show update!

so a few weeks ago we posted that austen and will are hard at work making a d&d show for this site and youtube. here’s just a quick update for you, it’s still happening! there ya go. well see ya next time. okay okay, a little bit more. so far, we have recorded a few sessions of some guys playing a game led by austen. after doing some editing, austen has found the title for this show. ‘the worst d&d group ever’ …so if THAT doesn’t make you want to watch, I don’t know what will.

in all actuality, it is coming along pretty well. austen is trying to keep it fun and entertaining while also staying on track and keeping the game moving along and therein lies the biggest challenge! will’s game hasn’t begun yet as he is taking far too long to bang out his story. mainly because he has been wasting time playing ark: survival evolved. but eventually, hopefully, he will be getting his game started as well.

we may post some sneak previews of the first episode of austen’s soon, so keep checking back to see! feel free to comment with feedback or things you’d like to see. by the way, the guy in the picture is taylor, one of austens players. so you’ll see him in the videos.