the water cycle

it don’t make no sense how when a river flows INTO a gulf…that they aren’t all empty by now. I mean, think about it. if all rivers are flowing from the land INTO the ocean…then they would eventually just be empty, wouldn’t they? BUT BUT, WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT RAINS AND SHIT? THAT KEEPS THE RIVERS FULL. oh shut your dirty whore mouth. i’ll counter that mentally challenged retort with one of my own, only gooder. evaporation fuckmother! bet you didn’t think of that didyanow? sure, it may rain like 10% of the time. but guess what? the other 90, all that water is evaporating as well as flowing to the gulfs. so that’s like a double whammy bitchtits. and im no mathmagician, but 2 vs 1 is usually never good for the 1, but usually is good for the 2. aka what i’m attempting to say is that the 2 will beat the 1 ya munts.

new web series!

Austen and Will are proud to announce that we are hard at work coming up with a new web series to bring to our fans. This is literally being written while we are shooting the footage for our first few episodes. Now, I won’t give away too much right now, but just know that this is going to be unscripted, and all about tabletop roleplaying games. That’s right, we are doing our own D&D channel. We will post the videos on here as well as Youtube. Now I better get back to shooting so we can get this out to you as soon as we can.

Keep checking back for updates!

batman vs superman script leak!

You want to see the new Batman vs Superman movie but can’t wait until it comes out? We have the next best thing. The first ten or so pages of the script, right here on The Only People Who Matter website. Check it out. It’s pretty legit. Definitely real. And as far as we can tell definitely setting up for an awesome movie.

Comment and let us know what you think! Are you excited to see this movie?

click this link here!   Batman vs Superman script


people who matter

1. the goldbergs  (abc) – in case you haven’t heard of or seen this show it’s based on the creator, adam goldberg, and his family. set in the 1980s this nostalgic show reminds some of the wonder years and id agree it has its similarities. except this show is funny. really funny. the best part about this show and what really makes it work for me is the brilliant cast. from the youngest child to the grandpa, the cast is superb and hilarious. ill admit i was hesitant to ever give this show a chance because 1. its on abc and 2. the commercials do it no justice at all but it has pleasantly surprised me each week.

2. william elliott whitmore – i wouldnt be surprised if you’ve never heard this name before…but if you havent, thats a damn shame. this soulful singer has a new record out that only adds to the beauty of his collective work thus far. if you are only going to listen to one song and judge if you like him or not i’d suggest you listen to “there’s hope for you” off his 2009 release ‘animals in the dark’. if you don’t like that well then you have no soul.

3. ben foster – this man is an incredible actor. though rarely the leading man, he is always the star of everything he is in. i truly believe he is the most underrated actor of our time because i feel he is the most talented actor there is. possibly ever. his ability to absolutely transform into the characters he plays is astounding. i feel that this great strength of his is also one of the main reasons people dont always realize who he is right away and tend to forget just how great he is. people love clooney because clooney is always clooney. but people love ben in this movie because hes a crazy bad guy and in this movie cuz he’s a badass and in this one cuz he is a winged angel dude but they dont necessarily put together that it was that same guy in all of them and thats a shame. watch anything hes been in for proof but my favorite performances of his are the small but wonderful role in “30 days of night”. the emotion-packed “the messenger” with woody harrelson. the tragically true story of “alpha dog” and the star studded western “3:10 to yuma”. these roles are some of his finest but trust me, everything he does is gold.

check out our videos

hey did you all forget about The Only People Who Matter videos page? Sure seems like it! Sure WE haven’t updated it in a long time but I know there are new fans out there everyday just discovering us, so to them, please go watch our web series. Why are there only three episodes you ask? Great question, well because we abandoned the series in favor of making it into a feature length film. Kind of shitty, but kind of awesome, we know.

Also check out our comics and stuff too, we are more than just articles here, we do it all!

Harris Wittels

I don’t feel like I have any room to speak on the wonderful comedic mind of Harris, or his tragic death, but I did want to just pay my respect to a well-respected and clearly loved man. I have been listening to every podcast that Harris was on and trying to find as much Harris-related things as I can since his death, and am sad that it took his death for so many, myself included, to truly appreciate his many talents.

It is quite possible that The Only People Who Matter might not exist without Harris. One day, Chris asked me (Will) if I ever listened to podcasts and I said that no, I never had. And Chris said that I should check some out as he was quickly becoming a big fan of several (CBB, Joe Rogan). Well I decided that I would check some of them out but didn’t know which ones I would enjoy listening to, so I just did a little Bing search for top podcasts to listen to and I found Marc Maron’s WTF. I had remembered reading about this podcast before and knew of Maron as a stand up so I figured this was my best bet to ease into this new world of podcasts. So I downloaded a podcast playing app and searched for Marc Maron and found a few of his recent interviews, one of which was with Harris. I didn’t know who he was but in the description it mentioned Parks and Rec and I thought, hey, I like that show, I’ll check this one out.

That interview was my first taste of what a podcast was, and it was a really good interview. I feel as though I listened to every word that Marc and Harris said moreso than any podcast I have listened to since simply because I was trying to be completely enthralled in the experience, or maybe because Marc is a great interviewer and Harris is a very personable guy who has great stories and tells them well. Whatever the reason may be, I was hooked. I told no less than 5 people about the interview and about Harris and how they should all check it out. After this, my next venture was into Joe Rogan, then Nerdist, then Comedy Bang Bang where I have remained. Other Earwolf podcasts as well, but CBB is the only podcast where I listen to each and every episode. I’m off on a tangent, I apologize.

Harris made me excited about podcasts and what they could be, and how much fun I realized that I could have doing my own. And because of that, Chris and I decided to start The Only People Who Matter podcast. Which then led to the web series and this website. And soon, our first feature film.

So, if you think about it, if you are a fan of ours, you should be thankful to Harris Wittels. I know that Chris and I are. Thank you Harris for your talent, your comedy and from the many wonderful things I’ve read and heard about you from friends and loved ones, your warm and kind heart. You are and will continue to be missed by so many.


so last month i gave an update on the only people who matter and what we are up to so im just gonna give another that sill be pretty similar to the last cuz well, we are still working on that stuff!

so austen finished his draft of our feature length film and will is now going over that draft and making some hopefully final revisions and then we can finally start production!

last time we mentioned that will was working on a new secret project and guess what…its not done 🙁 in typical will fashion, he has bit off more than he can chew and is turning this quick small project into a much larger one that will, HOPEFULLY, be done in the next month or so…but no promises. he is trying to make it the best it can be.

also austen and will have decided to venture into the world of fanfic and write some minecraft stories because we found sooo many online that are terrible and are being sold for decent money…so if they can do it, why cant we?!

thats all for now.